From : Fritz Henry bigfritzer@hotmail.com
Sent : Friday, April 30, 2004 1:20 AM
To : thebigkahunacafe@ime.net
Subject : Pumpkin Head Todd
Hey, I have a huge favor to ask of you guys over at the Big Kahuna Cafe. This is what it is: I need to get a hold of Pumpkin Head Ted. Is that going to be possible? This is why I need to do this: I need to ask him a few specific questions. Does that make it any easier for you? They will not be personal questions! I do not want to know him personally or even publically. I have another concern. When I was younger and going to junior high in WI, I knew a kid named Pumpkin Head Rodney. His head was not neccesarrily a real pu mpkin. It was the size of a pumpkin! He did not have orange skin! His skin was yellowish. I think he may have had jaundice. Is 14 or 15 too young to have jaundice? Does jaundice leave spots on the skin? Can you get it from pumpkins? I don t like pumpkins at all. I like pumpkin bread and pumpkin bars, but I don't like pumpkin pie or seeds or pumpkins themselves.
When I was younger I used to have this thing that I would do with my brother (Lake Henry). This is what we would do: we would smash pumpkins. It did not have to be Halloween time! If we saw a pumpkin anywhere, anytime, anyplace, we would smash the hell out of it. Do not ever put a pumpkin on the train tracks. Incidentally, have you ever put a penny on the train tracks and then gone back the next day and it's flat and Lincoln has a longer nose? I used to do that all the time with Curt McEwen at the cabin. Other things we flattened: dime, nickel, quarter, toad, bread slice. We were not the ones who put the pumpkin on the tracks near Lake City, MN!
Incidentally, if you were camping with a friend and then you went to bed afater telling ghost stories, and then you wake up and there's a smashed pumpkin on the railroad tracks near Lake City, MN, would you tell anyone? I don't think you want to answer the question right away. First I think you should think about the pumpkin: useless peice of squash. Then I think you should think abou tthe name squash: what's it mean? It's a verb. Does that answer any questions you may have?
So, if you run into Pumpkin Head Todd, please tell him Fritz and Lake want to see him and he better not really be Rodney Culver from Junior High, or he might have some explaining to do. ONe thing, might be, what's he doing in Maine? Another might be, when did he learn how to play an instrument? And yet another might be, if you were camping with a friend and then you went to bed afater telling ghost stories, and then you wake up and there's a smashed pumpkin on the railroad tracks near Lake City, MN, would you tell anyone?
I expect to see you next weekend at the wedding.
-Fritz Henry
p.s. Is this the Big Kahuna in Maine or New Hampshire? Have you ever been to Hawaii?
