The other day I got an email from an idividual named "Flossie Rivera." I'm pretty sure it was poetry and I'm pretty sure it was good. This sparked my interest and I wanted to know more and also I wanted to meet Flossie. Here is his (her (probably his (possibly hers))) email:
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From: Flossie Rivera (FlossieRivera@mail.ru)
To: bigfritzhenry@mac.com
Date: Tue Jul 11, 2006 06:35:01 AM PDT
Subject: LVL
"Fine thing," he said to me. "They're looking for you all over the himself. Such promises are only for the gulls that accept the ordinary. Zone to grab everything they can lay their hands on. It's become a whole new quietly with them all, exhorting them never to stop their learning and
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Here is my response:
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From: bigfritzhenry@mac.com
To: Flossie Rivera (FlossieRivera@mail.ru)
Date: Tue Aug 01, 2006 05:24:41 PM PDT
Dear Mr. (Miss?) Flossie Rivera,
You sound like someone who can get things done! I can see that you are not a "gull" who "accepts the ordinary!" That's very impressive! I hate birds. I am not lying here. I hate them. Do not get me started on the Lorakeet exhibit at the Long Beach Aquariaum of the Pacific in Long Beach! I hate them! No joke, but I have seen a "gull" pick up a "clam" and then drop the "clam" onto a "rock" and then go back down and pick up the "clam" and then the "clam" is open and you can see the "inside of the clam" and then the "gull" eats the "clam!" And then, without dipping it's "beak" into the "ocean" or anything, the "gull" fratracideses with other "gulls" and everything!! They are filthy! I wash my hands! Believe me! I wash my hands whether I want to or not! Also, I hate clams.
So, here is the service that you are going to end up providing for me whether you like it or not: you are going to help me out with something. Sounds plausible? Sounds like a good deal, I'll say. To me, you have nothing to lose. I am starting up a bank (THE WEST BANK, we do not accept clams) and I have some issues with money money money! I don't have money. I have multiple investors promising me money from Africa (Charlton Davies and Peter Clive, Basil Obed and Jafar Obed, and Hajia Mariam) All in all, the money adds up to something like $30 Million US Dollars. This is where you come in: you can get the money. They need someone (someone who DOES NOT ACCEPT THE ORDINARY, i.e. You, Flossie Rivera) to say they are a long lost family member and open a few (totally legal) accounts overseas. This is where you come in: you can do it!!!! I have no problem accepting the fact that you could bend the truth (LIE) like this. I can not. I am not a good liar. I AM NOT A GOOD LIAR AT ALL. I am so gullible. If someone wanted to trick me into getting money from me that belongs to me, they could do it. This is where you come in: you must travel to Europe and Africa and open thses account and get the money and then bring the money back to the US to deposit into my bank (THE WEST BANK, now with more money (from Flossie Rivera (cross your fingers America)))! Simple! I would have my brother (LAKE HENRY) do it, but he's a skeeve. I know I shouldn't talk about my blood like that, bu t realistically he's a "GULL" who only likes "CLAMS." Is that someone I want working for my bank (THE WEST BANK, no longer serving birds)? Nope. N-O-P-E-R-S. Nope. Question answered by me.
I'll see you in a few minutes.
Belovedly Yours As Usual,
Fritz Henry
p.s. Are you a man or woman, because if you're a woman, you can forget everything. I don't turst you.
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