I have an investor for my bank (THE WEST BANK, America's newest bank probably!)! He's my first investor and he sounds like he really wants to unload some money. Here is his email:
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From: Mr. Jabu Khanyile (jabukhanyile334@yahoo.com)
To: bigfritzhenry@mac.com
Date: Sat Jul 15, 2006 06:21:33 AM PDT
Subject:
15th July 2006
Dear Sir,
STRATEGIC INVESTMENT INTEREST
I represent a high net worth client, who urgently desires to make discretionary placement of a tidy eight figure sum in viable investment. Preferably in tax friendly offshore jurisdictions, through a blind investment trust serving as a discreet special purpose vehicle. If you are willing to handle the portfolio, please indicate promptly to enable me advise more details. Please note that your role will be handsomely rewarded.
Sincerely,
Mr. Jabu Khanyile.
jabukhanyile@aim.com
sk99au@netscape.net
Lukh and Associate
Solicitors, Notary Public & Legal Adviser.
No. 318 Barkston Drive, Ranburg
Johannesburg-South Africa
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I am a very popular person in Africa! I get all sorts of emails from them!!!
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From: bigfritzhenry@mac.com
To: Mr. Jabu Khanyile (sk99au@netscape.net)
Date: Tue Aug 15, 2006 06:29:48 PM PDT
THis is so awesome! At least! Yesterday I had my first fanmail! and today I have my first investment interest mail! I am totally interested in your investment!!!!! This is going to be the best bank ever (THE WEST BANK, now we have investors!!!)!!!! As my first investor, Mr. Jabu Khanyile (pronounciation?), you desrerve some sort of prise or something that would be something you would like, like a bunch of balloons or I've seen these cookie baskets from Snookie's Cookies that have all sorts of cookie (snookies?) of different sizes and colors and flavors and then you can eat all of them. Does that sound like a good enough prize for having the first investment in my bank (THE WEST BANK, right across the street from Supercuts AND Snookie's Cookes!)? I think it does. Do you like snookies?
I can not eat most snookies, because I'm allergic to treenuts, peanuts, cashews, walnuts, almonds, raisins and other nuts! I AM ALLERGIC! I am not deathly allergic. My allergist (DR. KEENERWORTHY) said that I am not allergic to "anything but to everything!" I thought that was quotable. I'M NOT ALLERGIC TO SEAFISH OR SHELLFOOD. I do eat lobster. I llike chocolate lobsters the best. You can only get them from Long Beach, I'm sorry but it's true. If I eat one peanut or treenut or hear that someone across the street is eating a raisin oatmeal cookie, I break out in spots and bumps. My skin gets bumpy and spotty and my insides get large and in charge. What I mean by that is that my insides get larger and they feel like they will come out of my spotty and bumpy skin, especially in my neck area because that is where my insides expand the most when I have an allergic reaction. DO YOU KNOW ABOUT ALLERGIES? DO THEY HAVE ALLERGIES IN SOUTH AFRICA? Are you allergic to anything I am? THis could be a bonding issue or it could be our death certificate (but only if you tell my brother (LAKE HENRY) or his little gang (JAFAR OBED, BASIL OBED, MOLLY HARDEN, RON LIVINGSTON, etc. etc.).
Let's talk about the bank for a second (THE WEST BANK!!!! GUARANTEED ALLERGEN FREE!!! EXCEPT SEAFISH!) and your investment. At the moment my bank (THE WEST BANK!!! WE DO HAVE SHELLFOOD!! EVERYDAY!!!) only has "ones" and "fives" and four "twenties" and a "ten" with a phone number written on it (THE PRESIDENT?). Could you just place your investment with change and "tens" and "twenties?" If you want to give my like one or two "hundreds," I think we could manaage that. Anything more than that and we'll have to think about security. I have two locks on the front door to my apartment, plus a security door, but I only have the key for the bolt lock on the inside door. I'm working on getting new screens for the windows. Are you eating a raisin or treenut cookie right now? I can feel my intestine and my voicebox expanding slowly. are there peanuts in FIDDLE FADDLE? I have to go to the hospital.
-Fritz Henry
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